~ A Cup of Coffee and a Blank Piece of Paper~

I have found lately all I want to do is sit in café with a hot cup of coffee and write. As I sit there words, feelings, and emotions would come to mind. What would I write about? I don’t know maybe something fictional or something true, something real. Who knows? My point is all I want to do is write. If I cannot find time to write, I would love to sit on a bench outside and read a book for myself. So often all I have been reading is text books. I would love to sit somewhere away from the business of life and read or write for myself.

It’s a cold late February morning. There is snow and slush everywhere. I guess that is expected when you choose to live in the Maritimes. One thing I can say is I look forward to moving out west where snow is almost non-existent. I look forward to new surroundings, new adventures, a new house mate (Christian), new people to meet. I look forward it all. I am very excited!

Yet there another side of me that is feeling sad because I know I am feeling leaving all of my comfortable surroundings, I am going miss the people I have known for years, I going to miss the family feeling about the Maritimes. I am going to miss the authenticity of it, I am going to miss cold winters, I am going to miss kitchen parties, and I am to going miss everything about the Maritimes.

I have mentioned this to a couple of people before and they have said to me don’t worry Jess you are going to love it out there. I do not doubt one bit that I will love it. The thing that is going to be hard for me is that I am entering into a place where I do not know anyone expect Christian. I am not going to be able to just walk next door and hang out with Jen Fry, or drive home for the weekend and see Jen Mac. I am realizing that it is going to take me a while before I feel comfortable there and find good solid friends.

In all my feelings about leaving I look ahead to see this exciting and wonderful future with Christian. I am happy I am entering this time of my life with him. I am happy I am going out west with him. I am happy for this change in my life.........WEST COAST HERE I COME!! Spring is almost here and I am eagerly waiting to see DRY grass on the ground. I am eager for warm sunshine and the sound of birds singing.

~If You Were an Icon....~

I have been thinking a lot lately. What have I been thinking about? The Church, Christians, school work, excited about getting married....

I have thinking about a lot of different things. I realized that for anyone who is not a christian and reads my blogs.....they would probably think I am a nut case for Jesus. I have come to accept that and know I am ok with whatever people choose to think of me. I have been told that I am a weirdo, nut case, Jesus freak, off the wall, and whacked out all because I am a christian and I love Jesus and I love writing about Him. If you are not a christian and you have been reading my stuff and have found them offensive or whacked out....well ... I am sorry I am not going to stop writing about the love that burns so deeply inside of me.

What has been bugging me lately? Is what non-christiana think about God or His church. I mean ya... some of the things they see about the church are true....but does that mean they should shut off everything to do with it. It's hard for me to understand because I stand in a totally different place then they do. I have a relationship with Christ. My heart breaks for them. My heart breaks for God's church. I pray that God's church would rise up to be that vast army of God it should be.

Church of Canada rise up! We are doing a horrible job at representing Christ to this world. Why do you think non-christians are turned off at coming to worship on a Sunday morning? Because they believe "church" is all about rules and guidelines. What they do not know is that Jesus doesn't care about what you DO he cares about our heart. He wants our heart more than the things we choose to DO. Yes Jesus does love seeing us do things for him but before he sees us do things for him he wants to see where our heart is.

If I sound angry...I am. I have a holy angry burning inside of me. I feel so broken for the church and for all the unbelievers. GAAAHHHHHHHH I wish I could express what I am feeling right now.

Here is a question to think about....I was in class today and my teacher asked this question: If you were a computer icon what you look like?

Think about it...
I know it's kind of funny... but it made me think .. how do I represent myself. If someone had to pick a computer icon for me what would they pick?